For some, deciding to elope is a no-brainer. Most of those people are introverted and don’t enjoy large crowds or having a ton of attention on them. But, for most, it’s a difficult decision on whether to elope or have a more traditional wedding. I’m here to convince you that eloping is the way to go.
There are three main reasons that I hear for couples not wanting to elope:
I’m going to tackle each of these one at a time. First, you can have your closest people present for your elopement. Choosing to elope does not mean a secret or shameful wedding anymore. Long gone are the days where eloping has a negative connotation. Today, the definition is more along the lines of having a small, intimate, authentic free-spirited wedding day that truly reflects who you are as a couple. Say goodbye to big wedding traditions and the gaudy venues that are meant for squeezing in a small army of celebrants, most of whom you’ll probably never see again. It’s now all about what truly matters most to you as a couple, including those you cherish most. There is no limit to how many people you can bring on your elopement, what’s most important is who you bring to your elopement. My suggestion to all my eloping clients: bring those closest to you both. Whether it be close family, best friends, or neither, your wedding day is about you and should reflect your relationship; regardless of who is present.
Next–and probably the one I hear the most– you’re afraid what your friends and family may think if you don’t decide to bring them for your special day. I may sound like a broken record, but your day is about YOU and YOU ONLY. While I know it can be difficult to upset, or let down, those closest to you; both you, and them, need to remember a wedding day is about bringing two beautiful souls together into one and if you’re spending your entire day trying to please others, you’re missing the point. That’s not to say you can’t compromise and have a reception or celebration later on with friends and family, but also, don’t feel obligated to do anything that doesn’t feel like you! Your friends and family love you, and I’m sure at the end of the day they just want you to be happy, even if your day doesn’t include them.
(Just a side note-you can include those closest to you, even if they aren’t present. Here are a couple of ideas of how to include your loved ones on your special day: have them all write letters (like Halle & Kayden did below) and read them before your commitment ceremony, face-time/live stream your vow exchange, twist up the “something borrowed” tradition and wear something that reminds you of them (watch, jewelry, hair accessory, etc.)).
And finally… your day IS SPECIAL. No matter what you do; you could fly to Rome and elope, have a gigantic 300+ person wedding in a fancy venue, or exchange vows in the local court house. Whatever way you choose your day is special because it is your wedding! Not everyone has the same ideas or passions or values; especially when it comes to their wedding day, and that’s okay. Every person’s unique day is special because it represents them and who they are within their relationships. The best way to make it special, is to do whatever the heck you want and whatever the heck feels like you.
In my personal opinion, I think elopements are even more special than big traditional weddings. There is less pressure, less stress, and more opportunity to capture those candid moments that you’ll cherish forever. There’s more representation of your personalities, interests, and values in the photos and there are moments that you didn’t even know happened. Long story short–YOU SHOULD ELOPE INSTEAD.